The Best of Blogs

Be sure to check out the irreverent old Old Bag at MenopausalOldBag. She’s hilarious!!

By Carolyn on May 15, 2008

menopausaloldbag’s blog has some hilarious posts. I know for sure I enjoyed her broken toe more than she did. Go MOB Go !

By Debs Lehner on May 15, 2008

Lets hear it for the Hamster at WheelTurningHamsterDead. Such a funny site. In fact, check them all out. Some very good content all around.

By Lee on May 15, 2008

Escape From Obesity is a very enlightening view into the world of a woman who has decided to break the chains of obesity. Her insight could well serve as the voice of so many of us who are fighting the same fight.

By Girlygirl on May 15, 2008

I love how Sy from The Wheel is Turning but the Hamster is Dead involves his readership. A very funny blog.

By Rose on May 15, 2008

I have to say the The Wheel Turning…. is a marvellous and hilarious insight into a very strange mind. Great entertainment.

However, to all of you hardy bloggers listed here – you should get out more!

By Simondo on May 16, 2008

Simondo – I do get out, a lot, very often in fact. Every weekend I am allowed home as part of my care in the community package. It’s getting me back in that’s the problem – I’ve been known to dole out the old ‘Glasgow Dandruff’ headbutt when being cuffed and dragged back into Strangeways where I spend my week. So there, I probably get out more than you do! Hah!

By Menopausaloldbag on May 17, 2008

Ahhh. A fellow Strangeways inmate. What block are you in? We can write a post together at some point about the food. Bad isnt it? That guy with the scabby face…well…he isnt hygienic is he.

By Sy on May 17, 2008

He’s mad, he’s British and he’s The Master of Comedy..it’s SY of THE WHEEL IS TURNING BUT THE HAMSTER IS DEAD.
He’s nuts and I love it…..

By Mrs T on May 17, 2008

Oh, did I say you should absolutley VOTE for SY because he’s promised me some hamster droppings if I spread the word…. how could a gal resist?

By Mrs T on May 17, 2008

Also ten quid… cheapskate.

By Mrs T on May 17, 2008

It’s true. I promised her poop in payment for votes. I feel dirty.

By Sy on May 17, 2008

Yeah, you stinker SY. I just wanted plain chocolate; not M&Ms.

By Mrs T on May 17, 2008

They are nutty! That has to count for something right?

By Sy on May 17, 2008

Ain’t the same as the real shit SY.

I meant squirrel droppings obviously.

By Mrs T on May 17, 2008

If you haven’t already, do go & give Menopausal Old Bag a read. Yes, she’s hilarious, which is why we’re here, but she’s a damn high quality writer too.

By Tina on May 18, 2008

Menopausal Old Bag is hilarious! However, her writing skills are also top notch. She is one woman we’ll be hearing about in the publishing world. Go to her blog and see for yourself. You will very glad you did.

By Eileen on May 18, 2008

EMZEEGEE KIDS BLOGS ARE HISTERICAL SHE NEEDS TO WIN

By Judy Young on May 20, 2008

The rivalry between MenopausalOldBag and
WheelSpinningHamsterDead is hilarious. If you are lacking in humour go and visit them. The competition is hotting up and boy does it show. Very, very funny banter.

By Debs on May 21, 2008

Stereo Radiation is pretty awesome: http://www.stereoradiation.com

By Luxury on May 21, 2008

Ashleyisanasshole should take the cake. Clever and hilarious.

By SteveP on May 21, 2008

Yeah, I just read a few posts on Ashley is an asshole. Loved it. She has my vote.

By Sara on May 21, 2008

We have a two way blog competition going on right before our very eyes. MenopausalOldBag writing one chapter and WheelSpinningHamsterDead writing the next.

I am sure this has never been known in a blog competition before.

Don’t waste your time with the other nominees these are the main contenders.

Go read, enjoy and vote!

By Debs on May 22, 2008

Debs thanks so much for this comment, you are such a star. Me and the Hamster are having a great lark writing this stuff and the sportsmanship and support between us is just great. Vote for MOB, Vote for Mob – go away Hortense or I’ll tighten those restraints again…....

By Menopausaloldbag on May 23, 2008

The sportmanship is great. As I said before, by doing this I have found 2 great blogs that I will be reading on a regular basis. And the banter and support is what makes all of this worth while!

Make sure you tighten the restraints enough that she cant chew through them again!!

Umm…I think you meant “VOTE FOR HAMSTER!”. Yeah, that is what you meant. You are a poor misguided fool. I will put you on the straight and narrow dont you worry!

By Sy on May 23, 2008

MOB is a blogger and oh so funny
She does it for laughs and not for the money
Stinking Billy put her up for the BOB
We all thought she’d done such a sterling job

Into second she quickly went
We were voting like crazy we were hell bent
Then she met up with the opposition
There’s a great fight now for the pole position

So true to form there is lots of banter
It’s gone from stand still to a right good canter
Now there’s one hell of a cross site story
With Hortense and Simondo in all their glory

So visit their sites and see what you think
You’ll have to agree the other blogs stink
Vote MOB or Hamster to be sure
They’re the best ever bloggers with the highest score

By Debs on May 23, 2008

That is quite frankly awesome!

By Sy on May 23, 2008

Debs – this is quite superb! Thank you so much you absolutly talented sweetie.

I’m writing the next bit of the story now – would’ve been quicker but the hangover from hell and my slow decomposition by the minute is hampering me somewhat!

By Menopausaloldbag on May 23, 2008

Menopausaloldbag….... really funny! Try her out! Lighten your day. Vote for her!

By Maggie May on May 23, 2008

Maggie May – Thanks so much for the vote and the endorsement – given what a great writer you are I am indeed humbled.

By Menopausaloldbag on May 24, 2008

The Trilogy

Now there’s a Trilogy, you really must read.
Sex, love and funny what else do you need?
So start off at MOB’s and move onto the Hamster.
For tales of Hortense and the one eyed gangster.

Then back off to MOB’s for the third in the plot.
Two bloggers are battling for the number one spot.
Don’t waste your vote on bloggers at two percent.
Visit MOB and the Hamster, you’ll be so glad you went!

By Debs on May 24, 2008

Debs – what a tour de force you are in marketing! This is just brilliant,yet again. You should be in this funiest blog category. I’ll nominate you next year, your bound to win it. Two mwah, mwah, air kisses to you!

By Menopausaloldbag on May 24, 2008

Jeeze! I’ve just come back from the supermarket. There was a one eyed short guy stood next to me in the queue. I thought it was Simondo! I was so feckin shocked I dropped me cabbage! Yes you guys cabbage. I am a veggie, so less of the veggie fart cabbage soup comments. OK! I’m easily offended. The trilogy is pure class …......
So far. VOTE MOB VOTE HAMSTER

By Debs on May 24, 2008

Debs – he didn’t follow you did he? Re the veggies thing – I can honestly say that nothing smells worse than a vegetarians fart – I used to be one and man, I could clear rooms in an instant! As for the cabbage soup diet – jeeze…..never again!

By Menopausaloldbag on May 24, 2008

Wow Debs! I didn’t know!

MOB and Sy – you’ve obviously got your own personal cheerleader going for you!

Go guys Go!!

By aims on May 24, 2008

Aims – you’ve got Debs, me and Sy voting for you big time so you have three cheer leaders here! Yes as our personal campaign manager Debs is a great loss to the business world but a real find for us. What about that poetry huh? Just the best.

Vote for Aims Vote for Aims – best inspiratioal blog – ever

By Menopausaloldbag on May 24, 2008

Hey aims, nobody knew until MOB and Hamster started spreading these rumours and now it’s gone all the way to you in Canada! I am NOT a cabbage eating veggie, who farts like a trooper! It’s lies all lies, the French do NOT call our house “Windy Hill” and I was NEVER sent to “The Windy Corner” at school.

Check out MOB’s comment above 24th May “vegetarians fart-I used to be one and man”
It’s another typo, it should read “I used to be one and A man.” The lush has another blog, Menopausal Old Drag (queen), next time you see her check out the adams apple, it’s there! I think you’ll find it was her who robbed the “Pink Feck Me Pumps” from Lily Savage, not Hortense!

VOTE MOB, VOTE HAMSTER,
VOTE AIMS (inspirtational blog)

By Debs on May 25, 2008

Debs – how did you know about my gender re-assignment operation – who told you, come clean you fart whafting veggie?

By Menopausaloldbag on May 25, 2008

Sorry Mod, erhm I mean MOB for the delay in response we had no electricity so I had to go eat lentils and hook meself up to the wind turbine for a couple of hours.
As far as your little gender re-assignment, mate, I know everything I’m Telescopic! Or it could have been Hortense, or was it Simondo? Only one way to find out EVERYONE visit MOB and Hamster and read the TRILOGY!

By Debs on May 25, 2008

This if fabulous stuff. Keep it up MOB and The Wheel is Turning…Whoever wins will be worthy.

By (Very) Lost in France on May 25, 2008

Debs – watch out, the national grid will be after you – you could save the nation millions if you keep up that botty burp routine of yours.

One day many years ago, I was at a Turkish Cypriot wedding with pals from the office. For the first time in my life I had something called Felafel; a fantastic veggie chick pea combination of herbs and spices. I was hooked immediately and shovelled a bucket load down my neck over a period of about an hour. I couldn’t get enough of them and so I kept munching away – is it any wonder why I am a fat muntah these days? Anyway, after a while, something in my digestion took a major dislike to this new addition to my diet. In no time at all I was involuntarily letting out silent but violent sneaky fartie poohs. I had never smelled anything like it in my life. Now this coincided with me getting quite bladdered on the free stack of booze they had provided. By this time I was lacking in any awareness or control of when these little beauties would slip out. The mates sharing my table had no idea that it was me who was filling their lungs with noxious repugnant gasses and would bitch and moan every ten minutes or so as I let another botty burp fly. I’ve never seen so many of them hit the dance floor so often. They were knackered by the end of the evening. What was really great and a bit of a life saver was the huge fat Turkish guy sitting snarfing huge amounts of food at the next table…. I’m afraid he took the blame that night as my mates chucked him filthy looks every time raw sewage hit their snouts!

By Menopausaloldbag on May 25, 2008

I have never been a vegematarian because vegetables are sacred to my religion. Well, that was the excuse I used my entire life as a reason to not touch the evil disgusting thing. I will get my fart on some other way if you dont mind!

By Sy on May 25, 2008

Kinda hard to vote for a blog that you can’t visit from here. Links would be nice.

By I'm Just Saying on May 26, 2008

I’m just saying the two top spots are Menopausalold bag and sy, in the comments.

By Debs on May 26, 2008

A little google action of the site names also takes you straight there!

By Sy on May 26, 2008

Hey Sy, my man! I’ve heard you like a bit of the old Googley action, awesome script. Not too sure about them comming here though. She pees like a Rhino, he farts like an elephant. I’ve only just got the PH in the pool sorted, it’s goinng to be like a feckin jacuzzi!

By Debs on May 26, 2008

The only googley action I like is very much cricket related! haha.

Nah they have to come and see you. That pool is going to be like a geyser at Yellowstone park!

By Sy on May 26, 2008

Oh I’m awake much too early so may as well comment in here.

If Hortense gets her new rubber incontinence pants then I promise she will be water proof and not do the mother of all wazz’s in your pool Debs. It also keeps the brown stuff at bay too but at least when she pulls the plug on them to have a bit of a clear out you’ll have plenty of organic manure for that vegetable patch of yours. Go Hortie go!

Sy what’s this about you googling with yourself – does Mrs Sy know what you do under cover of dark?

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on May 26, 2008

Very lost in France – thank you for joining our readership and your encouraging comments! A true diplomatic response wishing us both well but of course what you really meant to say was Vote for MOB, Vote for MOB….oops sorry can’t think what came over me there. What you probably meant to say was “may the best man win” which of course if it is either Sy or me then a man will definitely have won….well okay technically the gender re-assignment operation put paid to that but my birth certificate says I was born with nuts…That counts doesn’t it?

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on May 26, 2008

Born with nuts? You ARE nuts MOB. And why are you up so early? I am on nights so I have an excuse. What is your excuse? It is the middle of the night!!

Mrs Sy is best left not knowing what googling I do to myself in the night. But I guess knowing that she reads these comments, I just came out the googling closet. Love you wifey.

By Sy on May 26, 2008

And (very) Lost In France. “Don’t listen to MOB. It is alll Hamster allll the time…” Now I know that probably sounded like a cheap radio ad, but think of the jingle and go with it! And thank you for your input! Welcome to the club. This club isnt exactly for the mentally sane, but it is working.

By Sy on May 26, 2008

Well, really Sy, muscling in on my shameful attempt to gain extra votes while you were not looking. Is there nothing you won’t do to stop me taking over the world? Mwahahahahahahaah… It’s mine, all mine I tell ya…....

I’m flippin well awake because I embalmed myself again with trough loads of alcohol as we attended a re-launch of our local 17th century inn’s new food menu yesterday. One of my wonderful step sons came over to join us – the other is in bed with chicken pox and looks like a toast topper since his face broke out in spots – so no way am I letting him near fort Mob whilst there is any chance he is still infectious – and we and our brill neighbours and fiends headed off up the pub for a sherry or two.

I don’t normally dwink during the day – although sometimes in life I believe that everyone should go through the day rat-assed at some point in their life – and even after drinking pints of iced water along with the red vino I managed to wake up with a raging thirst and because I fell asleep too flippin early in my super dooper recliner. Such a great look that, head to one side, dribbling while step son looks on at his old soak of a step-mother who is busy spending his inheritance.

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on May 26, 2008

fiends? Fruedian slip perhaps? I meant friends!

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on May 26, 2008

Hey guys, I’ve just come up for air, it’s a good job I can breathe through me ears! Yes I’m veggie, but not a vegan Phnargh, phnargh. Hubbies home, if you know what I’m saying.

It’s bloogermainia here in the “Darkest Dordogne.” Bloggers from all over are turning up to get the first glimpse of Simondo and Hortense. She might have to forget her “Pink Feck Me Pumps” as it’s hissing down, or maybe that’s just her flying overhead. Love the photo of Simondo on your blog MOB, he really does look like the other half of him dribbled down his dad’s leg.

Don’t forget VOTE MOB !

By Debs on May 27, 2008

I cant help it MOB. The world is to be moulded as the scriptures which were foretold by the elders in a vision. The vision saw a 1-2 for the British which included an image of a man and a hamster holding aloft the glory of the prize and an insane schizophrenic woman holding the 2nd place. After reading the scriptures myself, I have come to embrace the realisation that this 1-2 is me and you. And I am not a schizophrenic woman. And I have a site with the word hamster in my name. It is in the scriptured MOB…the SCRIPTURES!

By Sy on May 27, 2008

Debs, I am concerned that the “rain” smells like peaches. Simondo eats a lot of peaches. Hortense would have a packed lunch for their escape made by Simondo. Chances are it has peaches in it. Can I recomment disinfecting your umbrella?

By Sy on May 27, 2008

If the rain smells like concentrated horse wazz and takes your skim off on contact then it sure could be Hortense. Her wazz works so much more effectively than swarfega on those greasy oily man mechanic type hands – folks go out and buy some ‘WAZZO’ today. Special offer due to manufacturer being on the run, and stocks being in short supply.

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on May 27, 2008

Ah the joy that is swarf. The greatest “thing” in the world. Not the orange one…has to be the green original one!

By Sy on May 27, 2008

The trilogy’s done and the forth post is up
Hortense, back in Broadmoor with her treble D cup
Tits hanging and swinging like rats in a sock
The image of this gave MOB such a shock

For Simondo, he has passports to arrange
As he scratches his scrotum, probably Mange
Hortense loves Simondo, she’s in such a trance
As they plan their escape from Blighty to France

So if you’ve not been yet, go visit MOB
She really has done such a bloody good job
Once you’ve read, come back and vote
Coz she really is such a crazy old goat

VOTE MOB VOTE MOB VOTE MOB

By Debs on May 28, 2008

Now I’m confused…does MOB stand for Mouldy Old Bra?

By Mrs T on May 28, 2008

Debs – crikey you did it again and so quickly! This is fantastic and what a whirlwind you are. Thanks so much you clever thing you!

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on May 28, 2008

Hey Mrs T – you been in my underwear drawer again?

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on May 28, 2008

Nah, I don’t need any size 20 granny knickers. Mind you, I need a new tent.

By Mrs T on May 28, 2008

Size 20 knickers? I should be so lucky to get into a slinky little number like that…..

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on May 28, 2008

Aw shucks, it’s almost over – perhaps another week and I might have done it?

Never mind, me an my multiple personalities are so grateful to those of you that took time out of your day, many days, to vote. We are deeply grateful folks and can’t thank you enough. I hope they at least publish the runners up as well as the winners like the other blog award sites do. Remember, coming first doesn’t always mean that you won! Good luck Sy, it was a superb contest and the best of fun to compete in with you.

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on Jun 1, 2008

And a final note to Debs – the finest most funny and wonderful campaign manager that God put on this earth. A star, a pal, a great girl who if in the running would have beat me hands down. Thanks old girl and also thanks to everyone that also left great comments of support on here.

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on Jun 1, 2008

It was definately fun. And Hortense found a new mate and are living in the carefree side of France with Debs. So everything worked out well in the end!

By Sy on Jun 1, 2008

Ah, but are they?.....watch this space!

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on Jun 1, 2008

The funniest site of all – Menopausaloldbag – can’t wait to see MOB/Hortense In The City…the movie…Somebody give this bag a contract!

By Susan on Jun 1, 2008

Flippin heck Susan – I wholeheartedly concur with what you are saying – somebody give this old bag a contract! I am writing a novel right now and will be sending it out soon but thanks for the endorsement – whoever you are!

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on Jun 2, 2008

Dont call me shirley!

By Sy on Jun 2, 2008

Hey Sy, recovered from those three million hours you worked last week then? Who’s his Shirley?

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on Jun 2, 2008

Working 72 in 7 days this week…so nope! Looking forward to my 2 weeks off at the end of the week!!

Shirley…Susan…all the same kinda film!

By Sy on Jun 2, 2008

‘Desperately seeking Shirley’ – doesn’t quite have the same rng to it does it?

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on Jun 2, 2008

Oh I dont know about that…You have to go to a different type of shop to get that movie, but it really does work!!

By Sy on Jun 2, 2008

I would imagine the sort of shops you and Simondo frequent has a clientelle that wear dirty mac’s and such like? Is that the kind of movie you are talking about – naughty boy, away and wash yer mouth out with soap.

By Menopaausloldbag (MOB) on Jun 2, 2008

You must read Are You F-ing Kidding Me? This blog is new but has a few great stories so far of days/events/life gone wrong. Check it out.

By MysteryMan on Jul 25, 2008

http://rufkiddingme.blogspot.com

This is the website. That might help.

By MysteryMan on Jul 25, 2008